Every day is precious

Every day is precious. The thought of death does not frighten me, but the thought of lying helpless and incapacitated in the final chapter seems so harsh. The painstaking suffering for my loved ones to endure, a swift ending would be a noble departure from this world if you had a choice.

Last Tuesday 17th June I was put clearly in the picture when I attended an appointment up in the City hospital cancer care unit with Russell Houston a leading oncologist with the NHS of 30 years.



I went hoping for the best and preparing for the worst. "Sadly, Darren, we can do nothing for you. There isn't a surgeon in the country that would attempt to operate, you would bleed to death, radiation is not an option as there are too many main organs nearby, you can start chemo but it won't make much difference. Your cancer is very aggressive and multiple tumors are going to raise their head, the palliative care team at Altnagelvin will help you cope with the pain".

He was aware of my sail for Macmillan around Ireland and advised me to do it because very soon I wouldn't be able.

I cannot accept this and am staying positive. I will fight this all the way with every breath I have. I just can't believe this is my final chapter. There is always hope and I have to keep that glimmer of light lit. Its not long since my surgery on 13th May. My neck is still very tender and still healing, the sail is getting very close... what am I to do? I started this in honour of John's memory I was healthy enough at that time at the end of March, now things are very different.

Its going to take all my physical and mental effort doing this sail, I need all my strength to fight this cancer, it has been done before; people have beat this, against the odds. I'm in a terrible dilemma.

If it were my last stand I would like to spend the last days with Sara, Tobin and my family. I've got cancer CANCER HASNT GOT ME!

Fanad head Co Donegal a beautiful sight to welcome you home after sailing back from Tory Island.